My church commenced a 3 week series on Friendship yesterday. You can hear the first sermon here. During this time I'll send out some dispatches on how I've experienced friendship IRL (In Real Life) A couple weeks ago I had an exchange with a friend over which of us was more likely to shop at Walmart. This debate centered on which of us was more of a hillbilly. At the end of the "conversation" my friend told me, "You're the only guy I can go back and forth with and still be friends."

That statement didn't register with me until today. I go back and forth like that with a lot of friends. Take for example this e-mail I wrote a couple weeks ago:

Dude,

I feel like you are being overly-sensitive and pissy about the whole thing. Regardless here's what I think. I want to be your friend. But I have a tendency to speak my mind. I'm not going to exist in a vacuum around you where I'm always stepping on eggshells trying to not insult you or something. We all poke fun from time to time. So if you don't want to hear what I think about something then don't e-mail me. Because I'm not going to politely ignore you. I'd rather engage and debate and really find out were we both stand on something than dance around the issue for the rest of our lives.

I had my bran-flakes that morning, as you can tell. I chose that e-mail because it is recent. But I could have picked from many such e-mails or conversations or text messages. People being harsh and honest with me. Me being harsh and honest with them. Why? Because I have this weird experience of good friendships being really strong and able to hold people together despite huge differences around religion, politics, and (gasp) the NFL.

I have no clue why I've ended up meeting people who are willing to be friends. It is hard work. Not just with me; although, that might make things a little harder. I met my best friend in middle-school. That was 15 years ago. We are going to be friends until we die. That death might be murder at the other's hand. But friends until the end, one way or another. When I met his now-wife I took the opportunity to tell her that her dream of being an author was absurd and highly-unlikely to materialize. He's said so many stupid things to me that I can't remember any of them.

The point is not that friendship leads to violence or anger but that it can withstand it. It is a big enough grace to be human within. I'm lucky to say that I have good friends.