Gods of Football:

(Note: Forgive my concussed brain for any potential errors or anything that makes it seem like I do not love you).

It started with Penn State. That is when I first noticed how fickle you can be. Who am I to judge your infinite wisdom. After all, you created things rugby and soccer never could consider, beautiful, mysterious things: the forward pass, Techmo Super Bowl, beer, and those Budweiser lizards that were funny when I was a kid. But Penn State showed me your undying allegiance to your product, even at the cost of our children. And despite all the accounts of a major academic institution, county, and fiefdom corrupted and complicit in these atrocious crimes, we constructed a narrative that let you off the hook.

Why then, do you still hurt us?

I guess there were signs of your anger before PSU. We just ignored them. When Chris Henry died in a fit of madness trying to attack his girlfriend, not one commentator on the NFL’s broadcast commented on how awful his actions were. Rather they spoke highly of Chris. I remember thinking, what if he had not fallen of that truck and somehow killed his girlfriend? What would the story be? Would we still stand behind our beloved football?

Sadly, I got my answer when Jovan Belcher of the KC Chiefs murdered his girlfriend and then killed himself. Brady Quinn, among others, referred to Belcher as an “angel” who helped them win the following game.

It had been a long season, and the official story by intelligent people was that the death of this young woman who was a daughter and mother was basically a sacrifice for a 1-12 football team to have an emotional win. We covered up for you again, football. Why do you still test us?

But there is more that you have done to make us question your love. Steubenville reminded us once again, that your power extends beyond college and professional football to the high schools that we send our children. When a high school girl was brutally drugged, kidnapped, and repeatedly raped, all the community could do was hide the evidence (that posted boldly over social media) and have the Sheriff claim that he had no jurisdiction (which of course he did). If not, Steubenville would lose its star players (the members of the self-titled “rape crew”).

We do not blame you, gods of football. We love you too much for that. We merely hope for three things:

1-Remember, we are your servants in life and death
2-Remember, those who have fallen at your invisible hands
3-Have mercy on us

Sometimes it takes our concussed brains a while to process, but when even those at our most pious and honorable institutions are hurt and killed (i.e. Notre Dame’s work-study student who tweeted that he might die at work because of the danger of the extremely high winds that day while he was filming practice on a crane, or that girl from Notre Dame who killed herself after allegedly being abused by football players, and everyone totally forgot and the school had the absolute worse response to both tragedies), we must ask you to relent.

What have we done to make you so angry?

Is it that we have drawn our attention to other sports? Sure we played intramural soccer that one time, but none of us really care. Your ratings are still the highest, and we’d happily give up hockey again next fall for you.

Even our imaginary girlfriends have died at your hands #girlwithlonghawaiianname.

And let’s not even mention the poor deer who was killed so Ray Lewis (the microcosm of your sport, being both the best linebacker in NFL history, and a preacher, and a murderer could spray a concoction of illegal performance enhancing substance that was fashioned from said deer’s antlers.

Gods of football, we will do anything for your mercy. Anything short of missing the Super Bowl, or next year’s fantasy season, or really anything involving football. Check the ratings and NFL owner’s pocket books for proof.

We are your servants,
America